“When using the phrase ‘Nice Guys’ with a capital NG, I don’t mean a man who happens to be a genuinely kind person. Hooray for kind, caring, conscientious people! I mean the sort of Guy who has declared himself to be Nice, and thus deserving of positive (usually sexual) attention from the female of his choice, upon whom he has often projected an elaborate fantasy of perfection and willingness that rarely has anything to do with the subject’s actual feelings or desires. When a Nice Guy is romantically rejected by a woman he wants, he lashes out at her, wondering why that dumb cunt won’t go out with him. After all, he has been Nice!”
This concept works with Bosses as well! We’ve all had the Nice Boss (Capital NB), right? Here’s my list of the Nice Boss (NB) types:
The BFF Boss
BFF Bosses are the type that want to be your friend, or at least they want you to think they’re your friend. That way you’ll do more them, that they can take credit for! Plus, it’s so much easier to tell your subordinates that they won’t be getting a raise, again, this year when you’re BFF’s! “Hey, guys, it’s me, you know me, if I could get you anything you know I would, but there’s nothing!” As they drive to the bank to cash their profit sharing check.
The Cool Boss
Can you dress casual on Tuesday? Sure! Can you leave early on Friday to get a head start on your weekend? Of Course! Is it alright you’re 15 minutes late coming back from lunch? No you weren’t! But as soon as Cool Boss is held accountable by his/her superiors somehow they also get amnesia and place the blame back on you. “I never told them they could take an hour and a half lunch!” Cool Boss will do whatever it takes to be the Cool Boss, except have your back.
The Concerned Boss
Come in and tell me everything that’s going wrong with you – I want to know, I need to know – I’m only concerned about you and your welfare! Plus, I need some information to hold over your head the next time I need to make cuts, changes or promotions. This boss could probably be called the Blackmail Boss as well, because that’s really what’s going on. I’m going to acted concerned so you’ll spill your beans and now I’ve got you on the hook to do whatever I want!
The Work Spouse Boss
I love my boss! She is so great, not like my wife who doesn’t understand me. My boss really gets me, and supports me, and knows what I want in my future! Oh, and she really only wants to ruin your marriage in some game of spouse Twister that will never work – but what the hell, let’s suspend reality – it seems to work in the movies until someone gets shot. The Work Spouse Bosses are even better than Work Spouses because they also support your career development – they’re ‘really’ trying to help you get ahead in your career – just not higher than them – that’s not part of the game!
What kind of “Nice Boss” do you have?